There is a sensation I get when I am starting down that slippery slope to depression. I try to fight it, but there is an inexorable, unceasing sucking feeling that drags me down and down, further and further.
I try to pull myself out of the relentless flow. I take hikes. I exercise and do yoga. I work in the garden. I watch shows that make me laugh. I make myself go out and see friends… and still it pulls at me.
I call it circling the drain.
Sometimes, I am actually able to keep from going all the way down. Whether it’s the active steps I take or reaching out to my psychiatrist for a prescription tweak – temporary or long-term – sometimes I can divert the depression.
But sometimes I can’t. Sometimes, the drop is simply inevitable, like one of those amusement park rides that are so terrifying and thrilling. What goes up… must come down.
And down I go.
